”So glad this is as much about the importance of relationships as it is about sex – and it’s made me realise it doesn’t have to be that dreaded one big talk”
Ten Top Tips for parents and families
Being a parent isn't always easy. The teenage years can be
particularly difficult. Talking to your children about sex and
relationships is far from easy, where do you start? Here are some
tips which you may find helpful.
Read them below or get a copy sent to you
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1) Spend time with them
Spend more time doing everyday things with them. Research shows
that this will make them far less likely to take risks with drink,
drugs and sex - this is the biggest thing you can do to support
your teenager in sex and relationship issues.
2) Be truthful and honest
Don't try to hide any embarrassment or shock you may feel
(they'll pick up on it anyway). Explain how you feel and why. They
may feel the same! If you don't know the answer to a question, say
so - find out and let them know when you have, or perhaps you can
find out together. Let your teenager know how you think and
feel.
3) Reassurance
Reassure your teenager that they can come to talk with you
whenever they want or need to, tell them that you are always happy
for them to ask you any questions. Remember - young people need
facts, and guidance to help them make decisions, but they also need
to be able to share their feelings and worries.
4) Your teenager's knowledge
Check out your teenager's knowledge and do ask them if they want
to talk, for example, after a TV programme or film. Talk to them
about what they do and don't want in a relationship. Reassure them
that sex should always be a choice and never a requirement.
5) Your relationship
Your relationship with your partner is really important to your
teenager's emotional and behavioural well-being. Even if you are
not together your relationship is still significant to them. Try
not to argue in front of them.
6) Information
An easy way to bring up the subject of sex is to leave
appropriate books and leaflets about sexual health services around
the house. You could use the leaflets as a way of raising the
issue.
7) Share stories
Sharing stories from your teenage years may help them understand
where you are coming from as well as taking some of the pressure
off them - but remember, the world has moved on since you were a
teenager and young people today face a range of new challenging
issues that you may never have had to deal with.
8) Teenage relationships
Peer pressure can lead young people to feel that they are the
only person they know not having sex. Talk to your teenager and
reassure them that this is not the case. Talk to them about the
importance of waiting until they are in a positive, loving
relationship.
9) Differing views
If they ask your opinion, explain it to them but let them know
that other people may have a different opinion. Take the time to
explain the reasons for certain beliefs or traditional practices.
Although you might want them to share your view you should
encourage them to make up their own minds.
10) Treat all questions seriously
Remember that how you answer questions will affect how
comfortable they feel approaching you in the future to talk about
sex - just because they ask a question about sex doesn't mean
they're sexually active.