Supporting shared parenting and father’s rights
Ian Maxwell of Families Need Fathers Scotland reports on
the first five months
February 2011
Families Need Fathers (FNF) has had Scottish members since it
was founded in 1974, but our first Scottish office opened in August
2010, with support from the Equality and Human Rights Commission
and the Big Lottery.
We offer two main services:
- providing information and support to individuals who are facing
problems seeing their children after separation through answering
individual enquiries, publishing information and running local
self-help groups
- campaigning to promote shared parenting and make it the default
option for separated or divorced families
By shared parenting we mean the involvement of both parents in
the life of their children after separation or divorce - not
necessarily on a 50:50 basis as all families are different, but
ensuring that parents have shared responsibility and the children
have a significant relationship with both parents.
We are promoting shared parenting because of the benefits it
offers to children. It already happens in many families after
separation, but unfortunately there are instances where ongoing
conflict means that one parent, usually the father, is totally
excluded or limited to token contact arrangements.
Although most enquiries come from fathers, we also hear from new
partners and relatives and a few mothers attend our groups.
Excluding or marginalising the father can also cut children off
from all the other relatives on his side of the family.
With five months of experience and well over 100 enquiries so
far, we are starting to recognise the most common issues and also
see some possible solutions.
The people who contact us tend to be facing refusal or severe
limitation of contact with children. Some were never married and
are without parental rights and responsibilities because they are
not on the birth certificate or their children were born before the
law changed in 2006.
We always suggest that negotiation and using services such as
family mediation are preferable to court action.
Although we tend to see some of the most difficult and
entrenched cases of parental disagreement, there is scope for
optimism both for some cases and for the working of the system.
The changes in civil court procedure resulting from the Gill
Review should lead to prompter and more specialist treatment of
family cases. Self representation and the presence of lay
assistants are becoming easier in the Scottish courts and we hope
to provide training and support to people taking this route.
We are also very pleased to have the chance to work with Family
Mediation West and Relationships Scotland in promoting and
evaluating a new series of Parenting Apart sessions in Glasgow.
These sessions give mothers and fathers more understanding of how
to support their children after separation. They also have the
chance to hear the views of other parents - hopefully making it
more likely that they will reach agreement with their own
ex-partner.
With only five months of work in Scotland, we have scratched the
surface of this age-old problem. Some of the people who call our
helpline or attend local groups have made progress, and we have
seen examples where the provision of information about legal rights
and peer support within our local groups in Edinburgh, Glasgow and
Aberdeen has led to happier outcomes.
Families Need Fathers will continue to promote the merits of
shared parenting, but it will only happen if the voluntary and
statutory agencies who work with parents come to appreciate it as a
desirable outcome.
More information: Ian Maxwell, National
Development Manager, Families Need Fathers Scotland, Tel: 0131 557
2440 Email Scotland@fnf.org.uk
See www.scotland.fnf.org.uk
for further information and details of monthly local group
meetings.
Parenting Apart sessions are taking place in Glasgow in February
and April. Contact Family Mediation West on 0141 332 2731 for
further details.